Being Who I'm Meant to Be
by Sparticus328
Summary: Due to a bad seizure, Max stays behind while the rest of her unit escapes in '09. What does she find out about herself after she decides to continue living at Manticore? UPDATED finally, chapter 7!
1. Getting Out?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of Dark Angel oh howI wishI did, never have, never will. And no i don't plan to steal it, as much as i do want it :)

**Being Who I'm Meant to Be**

ChapterOne: Getting Out?

Her seizures had been getting more severe as the days passed. As the ten-year old shook uncontrollably, the rest of her unit tried to cover for her. Some going so far as to forming a wall in front of her, hiding her from eyesight. They were all afraid of what might happen to her. Ever since Jack….

That's when Zack decided they had to get out. He wouldn't risk anymore of his siblings getting killed by the sycophantic scientists that operated at free will in this place.

The only hitch in his plan was speed. They couldn't travel very fast with Max in such condition. But they couldn't leave her behind, she was the soul of the unit, the youngest and most considerate of them.

Always during training, Max had been yelled at. "Eyes front!" They always shouted at her. She couldn't help the fact that she couldn't focus when the seizures hit. Finally, one of the TAC officers got tired of yelling at her to stand at attention. Incompetent girl, she kept shaking, couldn't keep still. Considering his own opinion that she needed reindoctrination, he had gone directly to Lydecker. He informed the colonel of the details of the situation and left the decision with him.

As the condition witnessed in the X5 gradually worsened, the TAC officer eventually became concerned. This was not a problem with following orders. The girl simply couldn't operate her own motor skills when she was like this. When he had given the update to the colonel, he walked away knowing that there was nothing that he personally could do. He shrugged it off as another loose wire in the X series.

Lydecker had gone to the barracks that night to find the whole unit huddled around her bunk. He could see from his position just outside the door that the bed was bucking with 452's seizes.

His heart hurt. The little girl that he felt a direct connection to was in such pain. Out of all of 'his kids,' Lydecker felt like 452, the one who had his wife's eyes, was really his daughter.

He knew there was a way to manipulate the DNA in the X5's after birth, and he knew that there was a way to fix the serotonin imbalance in the brain causing the seizures. He would do something to help her.

"Attention!" Lydecker firmly spoke into the baited breathing of the room. They all looked up, some shifting sideways, but all kept a hand on some part of Max's small form. The poor girl, she was shaking so badly that she couldn't even sit up for attention, though Lydecker could tell that she did try. "452." Lydecker walked over to the twin bed-sized bunk and crouched down to be near her. "I'm going to take you to the infirmary. There is a procedure that we can use… It will stop the seizures, for good."

"Sir," Zack protested. He didn't trust anyone at Manticore anymore. He couldn't let his sister be taken from the rest of them. He couldn't let the same thing happen to her that had happened to Jack. He just couldn't betray his mistrust of command.

"I understand your unease, 599. I assure you, she will be well looked after." Lydecker looked at the eleven year old CO of the unit to emphasize his intent. What he had hoped to relay with his own eyes--care and concern, as well as intent to heal--was reflected in the blonde boy's own navy eyes, along with a healthy mistrust for the man who intended to take his sister away. Zack had heavy doubts that Lydecker would do as he said he would. After all of the times spent in the tank and on the obstacle courses, the hours spent in training for escape-and-evade and catch-the-prisoner, he had just cause for such doubts. The colonel had put the children through what felt like hell. There was no way that this demon could become an angel of grace so fast. But still, if it would make Max better, then maybe it was worth a moment of trust in the enemy. "I promise." Lydecker said the words sincerely enough for Zack to be satisfied.

But it would mean leaving Max behind. Zack weighed the consequences in his mind. They could all stay, live devoid of freedom. Not an option. They could all go, taking Max to an unknown world that may not be able to help her. He wouldn't take the risk. They could go, leaving Max to be supposedly cured, and then eventually try to get her out later.

The instant Zack nodded his acceptance of the colonel's help, he felt like he betrayed himself as well as Max. As Lydecker bent to lift her frail, shaking body, Max reached for Zack arm. She looked at him intently and whispered hastily, "Don't wait up for me." They all knew she wasn't talking about lock down. She had seen the conflicting thoughts weigh in Zack's eyes. Essentially she made the decision for him, accepting the risk. She tried to smile at them all, knowing that with Zack's decision and her approval they would do as she asked. They all knew at that moment that she had decided to face her fate, whatever it would be, staying with Manticore.

END part 1

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**A/N: **Please R&R I would like feed back :) I have some other parts already written for this piece, butI would like to have at least three reviews beforeI post them up.


	2. X5 494

**Disclaimer: **hey, okay, okay...i get the gist...i have to say that i don't own DA...but i really really want to...hmph! oh, well, the writers of the show just don't want to listen to me i guess...

**A/N:** This is it folks, the one you've all been waiting for...ok probably not, but it's fun to think so... Chapter two. Please R&R, I hold the same limit of at least three reviews before I will upload the next.

**Being Who I'm Meant to Be**

Chapter Two: X5-494

Max laid in the infirmary for another hour before she heard the sirens announcing the escape of her unit. Max was torn in her desires. Part of her wanted to be with them, going on to a different life than the one that had been planned for them before their births. Another part of her was too afraid to venture the outside, unaware of what lay beyond the parameter fence.

Lydecker had been with her in the infirmary when the sirens sounded. He gently squeezed her trembling hand with his right, laying his left on her forehead momentarily before saying, "I'll be right back." Max watched him as he left the room. She felt torn about the colonel as well. She didn't know whether to trust him or to fear him, or both. She would always have a level of respect for the man who trained her, regardless.

The moment that the sirens sounded Max knew that her siblings were running for their lives. She hoped that they all made it out safely. Despite her desire to see them again, she wanted them to have a better life, be able to make choices for themselves. She didn't begrudge her decision to tell them to go without her. She was proud that they had listened to her, that they trusted her enough to make her own choice. She chose them over herself. She knew that if she had gone with them, she would have slowed their progress, making the escape very difficult. She was certain she made the right decision.

But now she was alone.

Max heard footsteps near at a leisurely pace. Based on the length of the stride between steps, she guessed it was someone about her own age.

"X5-494," the head nurse said reproachfully from the other side of the cotton partition. "What have you been up to?"

A boy's voice responded with an almost proud note in his voice. "I was sparring with 510 and I won!"

"Well, good for you. But, you are aware that it is after lights-out." Max could tell that the nurse was only bringing up the point, not intending to report it. "Where would 510 be, anyway? If you won, then I should be seeing him as well, should I not?" Max heard a pen scratch on the registration tablet, accounting for one more admittance to the infirmary.

Max could hear a combat booted foot scuff the floor in discomfort. "He's unconscious."

The nurse laughed good-naturedly. The boy stopped shuffling his feet, and protested. "What? He's bigger than I am! I didn't want to drag him here…" He groaned at the thought of lugging his large unconscious friend all the way from the barracks to the infirmary. As the boy continued to describe his victory, Max got the distinct impression that these two often had encounters like this.

Max heard more movement and saw the two walk around the edge of the partition. Max had seen the nurse when she first arrived at the infirmary. She was called Hannah, and she wore dark blue scrubs with a light sweater and had shoulder-length blonde hair. As she walked into this side of the room in order to treat the boy, the nurse had her hand on his shoulder, leading him to a bed near where Max sat. Max watched as the one called 494 settled himself to wait. She absently noted that he looked almost identical to her brother Ben, X5-493.

The boy watched Max as she shifted, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them, his hazel eyes evaluating the girl before him. Max noticed that the boy had a pretty ugly gash on his left cheek bone, blood slowly trickling down his face. He was probably here for stitches. It made her wonder what the other boy, 510, looked like.

The procedure Max waited for couldn't be done until the following day, so for the time being she simply sat with her back to the headboard of the bed patiently biding her time. Her seizures were under control for the time being thanks to the help of a dietary supplement called Tryptophan.

"You don't look so good." The boy spoke with a friendly grin on his face, knowing that he didn't look so well himself.

"You look rather magnificent, yourself," Max said genially. Max tried to be equally friendly, in spite of the loneliness she felt rising around her heart. She was only ten, and the only family she had ever known was on their way far away from this place.

"So… What's the matter with you, anyway?" 494 spoke innocently, yet smiling at her response. He liked this girl, he decided. She had…what did Hannah call it? Spunk?

"I don't really know. Seizures." She got up slowly, testing her legs, not entirely sure that the shakes had completely subsided. "Colonel Lydecker says there's a procedure that can fix the serotonin imbalance." She picked up a spare piece of gauze and some antiseptic. She wetted the gauze with the antiseptic and tentatively reached out to the boy's cheek. He didn't flinch or lean away, so she reached forward and dabbed at the dribbling blood, trying to clean the wound while Hannah readied the needle and stitch thread. "They're gonna do it tomorrow. I'm supposed to rest here until then."

494 watched the interesting girl as she helped clean up his face. He'd never known anyone who would do that before. Any one in the x-series he had met had an independent streak that extended east to west forever. No one would ever lower themselves enough to show compassion for another being, they were too involved with their training, too ingrained with soldiery. This girl was special.

"Who are you?" 494 wanted to know, he was honestly very curious about this girl.

"Why do you want to know?" Max asked as she held the gauze over the cut to stop the bleeding.

"So I can add you to my harem." He stated, point-blank.

Max rolled her eyes. "Cocky little bastard." Max had picked up quite a few things from the insults always flung at her unit during training. All the X5's were scheduled to begin Common Verbal Usage training during the next couple of months, but for now all they had was military lingo. With a few exceptions, like Max and obviously 494, colorful insults and verbal sparring rarely occurred.

"My name is Max." Her answer surprised him. They weren't supposed to have names. Max saw his expression and immediately regretted telling him. She hastily supplied her designation. "X5-452 is what I am, but _who _I am is Max." She would never deny herself her name. It was the one link she had with her unit left. She refused to believe that as soldiers they weren't supposed to have names.

"Max, huh?" 494 appeared to be considering the name, with interest. "It fits you."

"Yeah." Max didn't want to talk anymore about her name, it only made her miss her siblings more. She was also afraid that she would let slip her unit's plan to escape, which would inevitably earn her a trip to Psy-Ops. She would probably end up going anyway, as the only one of her unit to stay behind. "Just like 'Cocky Bastard,' 'Dick,' and 'Smart Aleck' fit you." She grinned. "I think I'll call you Alec."

He considered her choice for a moment, then nodded. "I like it." He spread his arms as if he was unfurling a cape around him. "It goes with my debonair attributes."

"I changed my mind…I'll call you Dick." Max cocked an eyebrow at his overly flamboyant disposition. It appeared she had one friend in this lonely place.

Hannah came back at this point with more gauze, medical tape, a needle and butterfly strips. Max took the gauze away from 'Alec's' face to let Hannah begin suturing the laceration. 494 squinted at Max, he hoped that she didn't mean it. He really did like the name Alec.

Just as Hannah finished stitching the cut, tying off and cutting the extra string, all three turned abruptly at a crashing, some distance down the hall. "What the...," Hannah stood to investigate the noise. "452, I'll leave you to finish bandaging him up, if you don't mind." Max nodded.

Max and Alec stared at each other and shrugged, neither having any idea what the noise had been. Max cut a strip of gauze to cover the cut. She gently taped the covering in place, and looked at the boy who shared her brother's face.

Max figured she would allow him a reprieve. "I've reconsidered my position," she stated regally. "You can keep the name Alec. But on occasions where you are being a particular pain in the butt, you are to be demoted, to Dick. Understood?"

Alec mock saluted her. "Yes, ma'am."

"Well, look who finally woke up." Hannah had found the source of the cacophony. It was the now conscious 510. Conscious, but far worse off than 494 had been. Alec stood and the two X5's went to join the other transgenic, helping him to a spare bed. He slumped against them as they half lifted, half pulled him to the same bed that Alec had been sitting on while being stitched up. 510 grunted and fell to the mattress, once again unconscious. Hannah followed them and began administering to the cuts and bruised that covered 510's features.

Max looked at Alec, then back to the prone figure on the gray wool blanket that covered the bed. "What did you do to him?" Max was half shocked that the cocky boy she had met could cause so much damage to another person.

Alec shrugged. "We were sparring." As if there was no other explanation but that Alec simply was the best fighter on base, he sat down on the bed that Max had vacated and crossed his arms over his chest.

Max shook her head and stared between them once again. 510 had several bruises covering his face, as well as a bloody nose, black eye, cut lip and missing teeth. "Ooookay. Remind me to always keep my guard up if I ever fight you." Max backed up, still staring at the prone figure on the opposite bed, and sat on her bed beside Alec. "But, seriously. Looks like you beat the living crap out of him. What did he do to deserve that?"

Hannah glanced at the two sitting on the bed and smiled faintly as she returned to her work. A few minutes later, Colonel Lydecker returned to the infirmary. "452, I have some bad news." Max immediately frowned. She knew it had something to do with her escaped unit. Alec turned to look at Max, he could tell that she was worried.

"I'm sorry, 452, but your unit has deserted. They left you and abandoned their mission. We were unable to save them. Your CO has been killed." Lydecker attempted to say this gently, he knew how close her unit had been. Yet, he needed to ensure that 452's loyalties were with Manticore.

Max took a slow measured breath. She had to keep herself from crying. No soldier cried in front of the commander. But Zack was dead? It just couldn't be true…but, somehow she felt that it was. The breath she had taken in shook as she let it out; she wasn't going to last long. She needed to make sure that Lydecker left soon. "Yes, sir," she said, her voice a bit wobbly. "Permission to---"

"Not now, 452. You need to rest. You still have that operation in the morning, you know." Lydecker took pity on her crumbling state and left the room.

"Yes, sir." she breathed as Lydecker left without waiting for her response. After a moment of sitting in silence, a stray tear trickled down her cheek. She began breaking down completely.

Alec instinctively put an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it'll be ok." Max turned into his embrace and cried. It seemed odd to her that she felt so comforted by the boy she had only just met, yet it also seemed natural.

So, they made it out, but Zack was gone forever. Max felt lost. Her family was gone.

END part 2

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**A/N: **I had this chapter written even before the first one was posted...just a few touch ups and a chance to get the internet working...you know how it is.**A/N2:** okiday...there is chapter TWO...chapter three will come, just as soon as i get some reviews for this one.Be patient, it will come, just like four and five and six and seven, and the others i have yet to write...smile, it's all good! 


	3. Better

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Dark Angel, don't rub it in...

**Being Who I'm Meant to Be**

Chapter Three: Better?

The two had stayed together through the night. It would have been ridiculous for Alec to attempt to return to the barracks, being after lights-out, but even if he had been permitted he wouldn't have gone back. Max was hurting. Her whole unit had left her behind, alone, to deal with the consequences of their desertion. Alec told himself that he wouldn't leave her to deal with everything on her own. He would be there for her, if she needed someone.

After a few minutes of sitting together on her bed, Hannah returned to check on 510, who was still unconscious. When she saw the two other children still embracing, one in tears, she said quietly, "452, you might want to consider getting some rest. Your surgery is first thing tomorrow, and I know it will be difficult for the surgeon to operate if your brain is tired." She creased her forehead in hopeful expectation.

Max nodded and let go of Alec. The boy stood and let her get settled on the bed, then sat back down on the edge of her bed. Max lay still on the bed, silent tears trailing out from the outside corners of her eyes. She was grateful that Alec sat with her, she didn't want to be alone right then. Max drew in a shaky breath and turned on her side.

Alec watched her, making sure that she would be alright. When he heard her shaky breathing, he knew that she was still fighting her tears. He reached out and took her hand. She looked up into his eyes at his action, a silent thank-you relayed.

They stayed like that until morning.

It was around 0800 the next morning when the surgeon came into the infirmary, ready to perform Max's operation.

Alec decided he would stay in the infirmary until Max came out from her operation. The little girl with an attitude had become Alec's first real friend, apart from his unit. He had only met her the night before, but he felt connected to her, like they'd been friends forever. From the moment she reached out to dab at the blood coming from his open wound, he trusted her.

He felt different after meeting Max. She had given him a name. Even though such things were frowned on, he felt somehow more human. It felt kind of good to have an ally participating in contraband communications. Max had found a way to finally allow him to feel like a real kid, ones that he had only read about in Ordinary Behavior Association classes, getting into trouble for contributing to mischief. Only he hoped that they wouldn't get into trouble for it. Having that link between them, he hoped, would ease the pain of her missing unit. He knew first hand that if any of his unit were taken away from him he would feel their absence acutely.

Now that Max was alone, with her unit gone, they didn't know what would happen to her. Alec only hoped that he could provide some kind of stability in her fast changing life. They were soldiers, but they were also human beings…children. They couldn't be expected to perform the tasks that even adult ordinaries sometimes had difficulty with. Losing family was one such situation, and he didn't want to leave Max to deal with it alone.

Max laid on the operating table unconscious to the world, the doctors buzzing around her as they worked to fix the chemical imbalance of serotonin in her brain. While the doctors operated, they found something that baffled them.

"She has two brain waves!" A technician announced, dumfounded, as he monitored her EEG readings.

"What?" The primary surgeon looked up from his patient to glance at the monitor. The technician has spoken the truth. X5-452 had two brain waves, one obviously her own, the second brain wave appeared to fluctuate between frequencies.

"Are we recording her progress?" He didn't want to make any error, and reporting all occurrences in the operating room was the best way for him to ensure that nothing found during surgery resulting in a hindrance of the X5's field achievement could be considered his fault.

"Yes, from the moment the anesthesia took effect…" The technician shifted, nervous as to the possible implications of this medical anomaly.

"Pull some blood. Do an analysis to see what else we can find." The surgeon continued with the procedure. _It just doesn't make sense._ He could come up with no explanation in his own mind for why this particular X5 had such an irregularity.

Alec continued to wait, just outside the OR doors. A quick, brief muffled conversation took place just inside the doors. Alec could barely make it out, his enhanced hearing a wonderful tool to eavesdropping on the condition of his friend within the room.

"She has two brain waves!" _What?_ Alec couldn't believe his transgenic hearing. Had he heard right? Max had a second brain wave rolling around in her mind? How was that even possible? He closed his eyes and racked his young brain trying to find an answer. None came to him.

Even though Max was unconscious, she was running her mind ragged with thoughts that had plagued her since the age of six. Despite the anesthesia, she had dreams. Awful dreams. Dreams in which she saw her younger brother Jack convulse with seizures, the seizures turned into rough black hands dragging his quivering body away down a lonely corridor which seemed to stretch as time passed. Jack was getting pulled further and further away from her, and she could do nothing but watch. As the corridor faded into black, Max saw a shadowed medical lab materialize. On a stainless steel table in the middle of the room a lifeless body lay draped in a white sheet with its chest-cracked open, blood tainting the covering.

_Jack! I'm being cut up like Jack! I should have left with Zack. I should have gone with the others. Jondy, Ben, Tinga, Syl, Krit, Jace, Brin, Zane, Eva, Seth, Jace... I don't want to die. Anybody, please help me. I don't want to be cut up like Jack was. I'm still alive. Don't let them do that to me!_

Alec could tell that she was struggling. Her heart rate was erratic, even though she was under anesthesia. He had no idea what could be wrong with her.

"494?" Hannah, the head nurse in the infirmary slowly walked up beside the boy, glancing through the window of the OR. "You've been here for a while. Are you alright?" She placed a slender hand on top of the boy's head. Since the first day 494 had come to the infirmary she had felt like he was more of a son to her than just another genetically designed X5 soldier.

"I'm worried about M-- 452." Alec stared absently through the doors, not even reacting to the hand on his head, stroking his soft blonde hair. Max was beginning to show signs of stress on her face. Her forehead continued to contort in distress and fear.

"She should be under anesthesia…" Hannah was just as concerned about Max as Alec was. "Those kinds of reactions aren't even possible if she's under. Something must really be bothering her."

Alec thought about their conversation the night before. Well, Max's wailings anyway.

_FLASHBACK_

"_First Jack, now Zack! My brothers are dying, my sisters…I don't even know what's happening to them." Max had reached a stage of depression after learning of her brother's death. In her mind, everything that she had ever come to care about had either been taken away from her or had left. In desperation, she had turned to the mindset of being devoid of anything meaningful, as all that had been was gone. She had nothing._

"_Who's Jack?" Alec was confused. He accepted that he didn't know Max very well, but he wanted to understand her past, to better help her in the present. _

"_My brother." Max ignored the warning that her mind gave at trusting someone so blindly. She wanted to tell him, she wanted him to understand. "He was taken away when he had seizures. I thought they had taken him to the infirmary. But, they didn't." Max choked on a sob. "They took him to the lab, and they cut him open… They killed him. They took my brother away from me!" Max pulled a hand to her face the force the tears from her face, suddenly angry. "_They_ made me, and _they_ took everything away from me! Alec, I'm alone because _they_ refuse to let us have anything normal. I'm alone!"_

"_Max, you're not alone." Alec squeezed her shoulders, hoping to dispel the numbness of her depression. "I'm still here. With you."_

_It took Max a few breaths before she actually calmed down, her shoulders finally relaxing. "I know." She had given in to her grief and just before she cried herself to sleep in Alec's arms, she uttered "thank you."_

_END FLASHBACK_

"Well, she did tell me about her brother's seizures last night, maybe she's just scared." Regardless of whatever she was going through in her mind, Alec tried to be strong for her. He tried to be a comfort to her, to calm her even if it was with just his presence on the other side of the door.

_Max. You don't need to be scared. The doctors aren't cutting you up. Well, not really, anyway. They only opened up part of you so they could fix your wiring. Remember. They are trying to make you better. Don't fight them. Max, trust me. They are trying to help you. You need to calm down and let them._

_Alec, help! Anybody! No! They're hurting me, like they hurt Jack. I won't ever see anything again. I'm going to die. What if I was wrong to trust them? What about Jack? He was alive when they took him away, just shaking really badly. I snuck out of the barracks that night to see him in the infirmary. When I got there, there were three doctors cutting him open and taking him apart. _Max's thoughts broke with anguished trembling.

Alec saw Max shiver and his instincts to go ease her pain and worry fought with his logic to leave her in the able hands of the surgeons. He could see that she was weakening, finally giving in to exhaustion.

_There's really no way to be sure they're not going to do the same to me. _Max gave in to whatever would happen. She finally accepted the fact that she could do nothing about it at this point.

_I'm sure. Your brother most likely died from GMS…grand-mal seizure. He was already gone when they cut him open, what you saw was probably an autopsy. You're okay. You're gonna be okay. Max, you'll be okay. _He tried to smile for her, to reassure her even though he knew she couldn't see him.

He watched her as she finally relaxed. Alec reassured himself with the idea that his thoughts had somehow reached the girl on the other side of the door.

When Max finally got out of surgery, Alec hovered around her. Hannah had given a small smile of amusement, but said nothing, allowing the transgenic to care for his young friend. Despite the fact that he watched her during the entire surgery, after it was over, he needed to make sure for himself that she was really ok. What she had told him about Jack last night really scared him. When it had ended, Max told him about her brother Jack. The night before, just after she finally calmed from crying, another seizure had hit. It was pretty bad, and the ten year old could do nothing but watch as she shook violently.

Max swatted at him from her lying position on the infirmary bed, head swathed in bandages. "Get off, idiot! I'm okay." Yet, she was grateful that he took such care of her, it made her think of Zane and Zack, her oldest brothers. She would always love them, and she would always miss them. She didn't know if she would ever see Zane again, but she knew that he at least was alive. In her mind, Zane would always survive. It pained her a great deal, though, to know that she would never see Zack striding down the hall serious as Lydecker, only to spread a smile on his face so wide it made her shove him, knowing he had some great scheme planned. She knew he was gone, yet in her heart Zack would never leave her.

Alec watched the emotions play across her face, he knew that she too was thinking about Jack. He was surprised when she abruptly sat up to grab him in a hug, and she didn't seem have any plans to let him go. He was surprised yes, but he didn't mind it. He had a unique link to this girl, his new friend. He didn't exactly understand it, but he accepted their easy friendship without question.

"Uh, Max," he whispered, lacking air. "Aren't you supposed to be lying down?"

"Whatever." Max really didn't care at this point. She wanted some connection to her siblings, and Alec was the closest thing she had… he did share Ben's face after all.

"You really do." Alec tried to get her to follow the doctor's instructions, but she was not going to let go of him so easily. He had to admit, he was fine with that.

"Fine," but she clung to his arm still as she lay back down on the bed, unsatisfied by the lack of bodily connection.

"Let go for a second." Alec tried to detach her hand, but she refused, clinging still tighter. "Look, Max. I'm gonna lay down with you, since you won't let go of me."

She frowned but complied. The next instant he had sat on her bed and leaned back, their bodies merely inches apart. The small girl latched herself to him again as if she was just an extension of his own body. Alec knew that she was missing her brothers and allowed the contact. But if any superiors came to the infirmary, they had best not be sharing the bed.

"You know you are the only one who will ever see me like this." Max whispered. "When it comes time for me to get a new unit, I'm gonna get a personality check as well. I can't be weak."

Alec wondered at that statement. What did she think was so wrong with her personality that she thought she had to change it? How did she consider herself weak? He thought she was fine, a little weepy lately, but that's a given…her family just left her behind, at least one brother dying in the effort. He knew that would be brutal for him. If any of his unit died or had been taken away from the rest, they would weaken both as a unit and as individuals... They needed each other.

"The closer you are, the more you can trust them to see you through your low points. Don't close yourself off." Alec thought for a moment before adding, "when you get a new unit, you're gonna get close to them, too, Maxie. You can't help it. It's human nature. We are supposed to be with others."

Max thought about that. He wasn't the first person to say that to her. "Lydecker said something like that when he took me to the infirmary. Said he understood why they had all gathered around me. Some primal part of them thought that by touching me, they could heal my pain. Must be in that cocktail of DNA they cooked up inside us."

"Probably. Though, I don't think it's only in the animal DNA, even humans require familial bonds. I read somewhere that without human contact Ordinary toddlers don't develop as well. That includes parents, and peers." Alec tried to explain the passage of text he read in a psychology book during one of his classes on human behavior the past year, not sure if Max knew about that. He knew that units trained specified fields separately, including educational classes. There was no guarantee that each unit had taken the same classes as far as he knew.

"Yeah," Max remembered what he was referring to, "My unit took that class as well. There was something about communication and provisional needs." Apparently she had accepted the fact.

He just hoped she didn't close off to anyone like she had threatened to do.

"I wonder where they'll transfer me." Max wondered aloud. Since she first came to the infirmary she wondered what would happen to her when she got out.

"I don't know. I guess we'll see, won't we." He hoped that she would be transferred to his unit.

END part 3

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**Review Responses:**

**BlackRose9:** Thanks!

**Alana84:** I'm glad that you like it. Thanks, and keep R&R, it helps

**angelofdarkness78:** Sorry! MA, yup! Alec will definitely do something...but for now he's still ten years old.

**GuestTypePerson:** Who said they get no punishment? I'm not done yet! The brass is slow and stupid and not quite as trigger happy as in the show, what can i say?

**Jihino Tenshi:** Baby girl, you are the greatest! Oh, and ... the sounding board thing works both ways, chickie ;)


	4. New Family

**Disclaimer:** Alright, already, I don't own the show Dark Angel...but i want to, crosses arms and pouts.

**Being Who I'm Meant to Be**

Part Four: New Family

"State your designation." They had questioned her like this for two weeks, beginning the week after her surgery. They had actually taken pity on her, and let her recover before they began barraging her with question of her loyalty.

"X5-452, sir." True to her training, Max responded with a straight face and eyes focused on the wall behind the colonel.

"Your unit left three weeks ago, ignoring orders and leaving you behind. What is your unit?" It wasn't quite re-indoctrination, just a test to see what she thought of her unit. Lydecker wanted to be sure that she would still be able to perform to her fullest capability, even without her 'family.'

"Deserters, sir." Max tried so hard not to let her voice break as she said the word. She would never consider them traitors, no matter how many times the others repeated it to her.

The next question surprised the X5. "Do you wish you had gone with them?" They had gone through any number of variations of what she thought of her unit before they left, what they meant to each other, but they had never gone into whether she thought she should have gone with them. Her level of loyalty to Manticore was being tested.

Max thought for a moment before responding. "Only to be with them, sir. Not to leave Manticore, sir." The only person that knew how much it had broken her to be away from her family was Alec, in whom she had confided and turned to for support the day her unit had escaped Manticore, leaving her behind per her request.

Lydecker cocked an eyebrow, yet let her answer be. He knew X5-452. He also knew that humans thrived with contact. He knew that Alpha unit had been very close, that they had considered themselves to be a family unit, it wasn't uncommon. He was proud of that fact to a degree. It would ensure that they would leave no man behind on away missions. But they _had _gotten away. 452 was now the only one left. He was glad that she had stayed behind. She was a special girl, as Dr. Sandeman had said. He had personally seen to the design of the girl's DNA. She would have the abilities that none other had, simply because of who she was. That is why 452 would be the most instrumental intermediary between the species of humans. Sandeman's plan might just work.

"That is good to hear 452. Because we have approved your transfer to a new unit." Max had an immediate sense of foreboding. She was nervous and excited, thousands of worries cascaded in her mind, a sheet of fear. Would she be accepted by her new unit, would they ever be as close as her family was? Or, would they ostracize her as an outsider for having her last unit abandon her and Manticore, fearful that she would do the same to them?

Lydecker motioned to the officer watching from beyond the door. When he opened the door, another transgenic was lead inside. "452, this will be your new CO."

Max slowly turned to face the one who would be her superior. A mixed wave of emotion overflowed her senses, making her eyes glimmer with its intensity. There before her stood X5-494, Alec, her friend. She could endure anything from the rest of the unit as long as Alec was with her.

Lydecker stood and directed her toward the door, where her new CO stood waiting ever the perfect soldier. "I want you two to meet the rest of your unit and make sure that they associate themselves with you, 452." Max looked up at the blonde man, his pale blue eyes shimmered. Max was confused at the look he gave her. She had heard the rumors of how Colonel Lydecker saw her unit as 'his kids.' But it wasn't like she was being given away to be married or anything… She was still under his jurisdiction of training, right?

But Max was wrong. Max learned, through Alec, that Lydecker was heading a search and retrieval for her escaped unit. Max would now be under the pure poison treatment of the new director of the program, a venomous creature known to Alec as Renfro. Max and Alec walked side by side, speaking quietly about the shift in authority.

"Seriously, Max. I'm glad that you are going to be with us, in my unit, but this lady is psychotic." He let out a groaning sigh of long-suffering. "She doesn't even see us as humans, calls the transgenics freaks all the time. I swear she will only ever see us as tools… We're her personal lab rats, specifically modified to fulfill some dark purpose. It's sick really."

"What purpose?" As they walked, both of the young transgenics bore the stoic expression of a trained soldier, yet Max's mind was swirling in confusion. Alec never spoke like this, he was serious. Not even a hint of his smart-butt tendencies came through his words.

"No one really has any idea, but she always seems to be on the phone, speaking French and harboring some big secret. I admit she hides it pretty well, but still."Alec stopped walking and stood with his hands behind his back. He glanced around to be sure no one would hear him before continuing. "I swear she's right inside the devil's inner circle of chum pals. But it's weird. Do you remember when the doctors did a blood analysis a few weeks back?"Max nodded. "The second she got wind of your test results, Renfro couldn't wait for you to be transferred. I hear she was actually excited about meeting you. And I mean meeting you, not the 'state your designation' crap that every other lab coat and TAC officer require. I actually mean 'meet' like 'greet,' one bizarre situation." Alec put his hand up behind her neck and squeezed his thumb and middle finger into the sides, causing her to cringe and shrink away from his grip. "Drawing all this attention… There must be something special about you, Maxxx." He drew out the x of her name and grinned.

Max scowled at his smirk. "There'll be something special ed. about you if you don't knock it off."Max swung her elbow out and slammed him in the side of the ribs, knocking some of the wind out of his lungs. She eyed him sideways, "now you get cocky, you little bastard. You keep switching between serious and attitude. How am I supposed to know when you are actually saying anything worth listening to?"

"But Maxie, I'm always worth listening to."Alec gasped slightly to get his breath back, yet smirked at her.

"That's what you think, pretty boy." Hearing him use her nickname, Max desperately missed her family, but she knew that she had to keep going. In this crazy little life of hers at Manticore, there would always have to be something to make her smile. And right now, that something was Alec. That was enough for her.

"Pretty boy, huh?"Alec retaliated, putting her in a head lock with his left arm and pulling her across his chest with his right.

She didn't wait to respond. She slyly snaked her arm behind his back and pinched hard just above the waistband of his fatigues. Alec winced in pain, cringing as his nerves burned under her torture. However, neither transgenic relented as they approached the door to the recreational room where the rest of the unit waited for the return of their CO with a transfer.

The door opened and Max and Alec faced the room of eight other transgenics. A few puzzled glances met them in their precarious position. Alec refused to let go of Max's neck and Max refused to loosen her pinch, to which Alec winced incessantly. Alec thought absently that the groomers must not have cut her claws recently. To this Max pinched harder and in another place, one that wasn't numb from her initial pinch.

"Hey, guys!" Alec greeted his unit jovially. Letting Max go with his right arm, he patted at her trapped appendage and announced, "This is X5-452. She has just been transferred to our unit. I call her Max, as in a Maximum Pain in my Ass." Still in her headlock, Max twisted her pinch, causing him to grind his teeth and close one eye, squinting down at her. Alec at last relented her head. He watched her closely, making sure that she didn't close herself off like she had threatened to a few weeks ago.

Max shoved him aside and crossed her arms. Max stared at the group before her, unsure of how to display herself. But after seeing Alec behave so unprofessionally with them, she felt it would be safe if she followed his example. Placing a hand on the side of his head, she pushed making him loose his balance and stumble sideways to catch himself, one more for sake of payback. "And this dolt, I call Alec. As in Smart Aleck, the greatest irritant ever created by all that is Manticore!" Max glared at him.

"Yeah, but you know you love me." Alec grinned, patting the top of her head. She was still herself.

Max stretched her arm out and batted at his withdrawing appendage like a cat at her toy. "Only in your dreams, pretty boy."

The rest of the room immediately eased. At last, there was someone out there who could counter their CO's verbal slings, and she either didn't care about or could more than handle the consequences which he inevitably would dish out.

Not long after Max's initial introduction to the group, Director Renfro herself came to evaluate the new transfer. With her high heeled shoes echoing down the corridor, the unit turned with dreaded expectation as the door was opened to allow the overseer of their training. Several in the unit had the distinct impulse to run to the door and keep it closed, denying her entry. Alec being one. He didn't know why the director was so interested in Max, but he sure wasn't going to let her get any joy out of experimenting on the 'enigma' as she had called her. Where in a typical military operation, the troops morale would be lifted at the sight of their leader, but in the twisted ranks of Manticore, seeing Director Renfro was tantamount to induced nausea. They all cringed at her perfectly tailored and manicured figure walking stick-like up and down the ranks, finally stopping in front of Max.

"452." Renfro stated her designation, not as a question for clarification, but fact.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Max was beginning to understand Alec's apprehension where this woman was concerned. And they called the X's freaks. This chick wore high heels in a military complex, for heaven's sake; they had a business woman running operations! What would Manticore think of next? Dessert infiltration with actual moles? Wait, they already did that… Max had seen half-human, half-animal transgenics traversing the grounds of Manticore for months. Manticore would stop at nothing, apparently.

"It's nice to see you in ranks. I was beginning to wonder if Lydecker was keeping you all to himself." The bony woman sneered at the girl before her. She hated the fact that Lydecker had always been given special rights in training the soldiers how he saw fit. She resented the man. She knew that she could train them just as well as he could. But a niggling voice in the back of her head refused her, _But they won't let you. You would turn them into robots, not soldiers. Sandeman would never allow that. He wants humans, not automatons._ Yeah, well stuff shirt old man as he was, Sandeman didn't know much about the changing times. He had his family issues to deal with, he didn't know what it took to raise and train over five thousand genetically enhanced soldiers.

Max almost wished that Lydecker had kept her in his program. She grew very uncomfortable under Renfro's leering gaze. Shifting uneasily, Max touched her shoulder to Alec who stood beside her. Once she returned to attention, eyes in the proper place just over the shoulder of the director, Alec returned the action, letting her know that he commiserated with her discomfort.

Having turned her attention to the back wall, Renfro began speaking about how she hoped 452 would be an excellent addition to the unit. How she expected the unit to work even better with her among them, especially with their new status as the lead unit. The entire unit viciously fought the urge to roll their eyes at her holier-than-thou demeanor and tell her exactly where she could put her expectations of her new favorite unit.

They were glad that 494 had a special relationship with their new addition, but some of the unit grew skeptical. With 452 as the center of attention for this little pep-talk, a few looked dubiously at her. Where had this new pet of Renfro's come from? And why exactly did Renfro hold her in such high standards?

END part 4

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**Review Responses:**

**GuestTypePerson:** You know something? You give the bast reviews...keep me thinking of whatI still need to do. But, worry not, punishment is in the works...next few chapters. You have to keep in mind there are doctors initiating the brass to action. So, some doctor has to suggest to the brass that "well, gee, would it be possible for flight tendancies to run in the family. Guess we should test the twins, shouldn't we?" Then, out come the shots of psycho-actives and red lasers in the eyes...You'll see. :)

**Angel of Darkness 231:** Thanks so much! And trustme whenI say this one can go on and on...I don't know yet how far I want to take it...hmmmm. props chin on hand and deliberates.

**Alana84:** Now is when the fun starts...well, ok...the early, early fun. New characters. Next time it won't be so nice.

**Jihino Tenshi:** Thanks! It really is a big help to know that I'm actually making sense when I write. I love it, so I'd do it anyway, but I feelI can do it betterwhen someone approves of the wayI choose to do it. :)


	5. A Face in the Crowd

**Disclaimer:** What are you talking about? Of course I own it, it wouldn't be as great as it is without me...okay, okay, it's a lie...I don't own it. But I really really really really want to.

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Being Who I'm Meant to Be **

Part 5: A Face in the Crowd

Initially Max had been concerned that she would fade into the background of her new unit. Unaccepted and outcast because was different, an unknown. However, she soon discovered that even if the unit had tried to distance themselves from her, Alec wouldn't have let them. With Alec in the middle, common ground was easily found. He made sure that Max had an active, essential role in her new unit. They had been together for one full week doing everything together: training, sparring, eating in the mess, and bunking down. Max even found a few companions for her active nights, those in which her shark DNA refused to allow her shut-eye.

So far the unit as a whole got along pretty well, but she knew they still harbored doubts about her. She was, after all, originally from the unit that had deserted the others. Max understood how they felt; she too had been left behind. It seemed to be fine, just quiet, with the exception of Max and Alec together. That is, it was quiet until they took Alec away. Max was didn't take a second to wonder why they took him away. She knew. They were going to test him, to see if he had the same tendency of desertion that his twin had displayed in the escape. That's when things got interesting.

The day they came for him, Max and Alec were just getting into their sparring match on the mats. This would be their first physical sparring match against one another. All the transgenics in the room stopped to watch. Rumor had it that 452 was quick, she liked to take out her opponent fast, no hassles. 494 was strong-willed, this would be no fast fight. It would be a good show.

Max circled Alec and looked him up and down, assessing his stance. She noticed that he liked to step back on his left foot, and front with his right. She almost shook her head, how had the trainers overlooked this? X-soldiers were supposed to be perfect in every way, no universal traits or weaknesses. Well, she saw his and took advantage of it.

Or she would have.

Two TAC officers stepped into the training gymnasium, stopping all activity as the 9 and 10 year olds stood to attention. The officers' stoic expressions saddened slightly at the thought of what they had to do. They didn't understand why they were retrieving 494 for testing, he was a good soldier. "494, come with us."

Alec started walking toward the doors, but he stopped and looked back. He and Max had talked a couple of times about the possibility of psych-evaluation for the twins left behind. He was nervous about it, but he was sure that Max would make sure he came back okay. She nodded, knowing what he was thinking. Her brief nod was enough for him, somehow he knew that Max would see him through this.

The instant he walked through the doors, Max could sense the shift in their unit's thoughts from tolerably acceptant to edgy misunderstanding. She could feel the air shiver with their accusing glances. At first she tried to shrug it off, telling herself that Alec would be back by the end of the day. But when the end of the day came and he wasn't back yet, she started to get worried. What was being done to him?

Something was not right. Max's unease over Alec's absence unnerved her. Only Miggs, 511, seemed to understand her fear for him. The girl with black hair moved close to her friend, seeking support as well as giving it. Miggs had been the one who sat with her and talked at night, their common shark DNA acting as a stimulator, herding sleep to a distant place.

"Look, guys, I didn't do this to him." Max tried to defend herself against their unspoken opinions. Miggs took her arm, showing the rest of the unit that her loyalty was most assuredly with Max.

"Yeah," 639 said disbelievingly. "And what makes you think that you can stand there like nothing's going on?" Max had called the stocky ebony haired girl Bick because she seemed to always be ready for a debate, unlike the playful banter Max had with Alec.

"You think I'm just standing by?" Max couldn't believe it, they actually thought she didn't care about him. Max cried out in desperation, "I'm worried about him too!" Max knew, just as the rest of them did, that Alec didn't do anything wrong!

"But, you don't seem to be worried at all." Miggs spoke sadly and looked up at her friend. She didn't accuse Max, she was just worried about Alec. She was tall and strong like 510, her brother Biggs, even sharing the same dark hair, but her disposition was far more gentle.

"Because I know Alec." Max said it simply, but still those with doubts frowned. Miggs looked pointedly at her brother, fully expecting him to do something about this misunderstanding.

Biggs, 2IC under Alec took over, stepping up next to Max. "Look, everybody, we are gonna have a little pow-wow until you understand that Max didn't have anything to do with this." Without another word he crossed his ankles and dropped to the floor of their barracks. The rest of the unit followed suit, forming a circle around the two. Max sat facing Biggs with Miggs on her left, still clinging to her arm. She didn't want to have to see the hostility in the eyes of her new unit. She could trust Biggs to stave off most of the stares.

A weighted silence followed. Everyone had arrived at their own conclusions, whether Max was responsible in a way or if it was just the consequences of having a twin who tried to run away. What really swayed them was when Max suddenly broke into tears.

Max tried to focus on Alec as the unit sat around her. He was the one constant in her life since her unit had escaped. She needed some link to him in order to remain sane against the formulating accusations. If she could think about him, she wouldn't feel so alone.

Maybe it was the unit's total entropy, or maybe it was her desperation, whatever it was she was glad for it. She was able to think of her friend, however she was unable to escape her concern for him. The only thing she could think of that Manticore could be doing to him was…Psy-Ops. Max leaned on her knees, sobbing, finally really afraid for him.

Ben had gone to Psy-Ops once. He had gone to the high place after lights out. When the guards found him, they brought him to Psy-Ops. They said he had been bad. When Ben came back to the rest of his siblings, he was quiet. He stopped telling stories, he stopped staying with Max when she had the shakes and she was scared at night. When he only sat on his bunk staring hollow-eyed at the wall, Jondy had taken Ben's place in comforting Max. He had shut himself off from the rest of them. It had taken months to get even a shadow of who he had been to return.

Alec would change. When he came back, if he came back, he would be different. Not who he used to be. Max didn't think she could handle it if Alec became like Ben after he came back, detached and mechanical… She missed him already.

Miggs didn't understand why Max was crying so hard. They were all worried about Alec, but he would be ok. Right? He probably just had to talk to Renfro about the training schedule this coming week. But, why then would two TAC officers come to take him to the constipated banshee? Miggs began to get very concerned. She moved one of her hands to rub Max's back as the girl sobbed, her short red-brown hair falling into her face. Somehow Max knew what was going on, and it scared her. It scared Miggs that Max was scared. Desperately Miggs turned to her brother.

Biggs watched the two girls, his sister rubbing the back of the crying transfer. Max hadn't cried a day since she came to their unit. Even Bick cried when Daniels tore them apart for training mistakes, but not Max. Something was very wrong. It was like her strength and will-power evaporated when Alec left the room. Biggs turned his eyes to scan the others in his unit. They were all shocked to see Max in tears. She may have only been in the unit for a week, but in that week Max had taken a position of characteristic strength for the group. They all looked to her for assurance and encouragement. To see her so broken was frightening to them all.

Bick stood cautiously and made her way to Max's right side. Kneeling by her, she whispered, "I'm sorry Max. I never should have doubted you." She wrapped her arms around the shaking figure beside her. Miggs cocked an eyebrow at the opinionated girl, interesting changes were occurring.

The rest of the unit soon followed Bick's lead, gathering themselves close to Max forming a body-pile over and around its newest member. It was coming close to lights out, but none of them even registered the fact, they were not going to move. Max thought half-heartedly, _if the guards come to check on us and we're not bunked down, maybe they'll take us to Psy-Ops, too. Then Alec wouldn't be alone, maybe he would come back okay if we were there with him._ She shivered at the thought. She would do anything for Alec, but getting dragged down to Psy-Ops, where she too might change… She wasn't sure, though she did want to see Alec, to help him…

Biggs took the decision out of her hands. "Alright people. Here's the plan: Everyone bunk down. After the guards check on us, Miggs, Max and I will head out. We're going to figure out what's going on with our CO." Everyone nodded standing and placing a parting hand on Max for comfort.

Max's cries had subsided. Now that they had a plan of sorts, she felt purposeful. Maybe Alec would be okay after all.

As lights out approached, the guards checking each of the barracks, another TAC officer came to visit their unit.

"452." The unit sat wide eyed from their bunks as Max stood to attention, confused. "Your presence is requested in the infirmary."

The unit watched dumb-founded as Max was needed once again in the infirmary. She had already spent the week following her surgery in the infirmary for follow-up tests. What could this be about? Miggs had been sitting in her own bed, talking with Max when the officer stepped into the room. Max squeezed her hand, letting her know that she would be alright, and walked toward the door, following the TAC officer down the corridor.

They all watched her stand uncomfortably then make her way out of the room. The unit sat and stood shocked. First Alec was taken away from them, now Max. Who else would they take away?

Each of the unit turned to Biggs, hoping he would have some kind of explanation. He shrugged, shaking his head. He was just as confused as the others. But he as 2IC had to take command and make a decision. "Little change of plans," he informed them. "We need to figure this thing out." Biggs sat quietly for a moment, thinking. If success depended on a well-thought out plan executed with precision, they had nothing. They had a great team able to work with precision, just no plan. Without Max, they really had nothing. But could they just wait for her to get back? They didn't really have a choice.

END part 5

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**A/N: **It might take me longer to get the next chapter up...I haven't quite finished it yet. So, bear with me for a bit...school starts soon, but I hope to have it up and working by then.

**A/N2:** There is still the three review minimum request before i do so...wink, wink ;)

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**Review Responses:**

**angel of darkness231:** Glad you liked, sorry to say you will be creeped out again. I am REALLY glad that you like how it's going so far, I hope to keep up with my present caliber of writing. :)

**Kelzaa:** No way! Especially with Renfro. Ew.

**Alana84: **Thanks! Of course Renfro is a (expletive), you betcha….I couldn't really change her character, now could I?

**Jihino Tenshi:** Dude, such high expectations… Hope I never disappoint. I try to do as much description as I can…probably because that's how the ideas come to me, in images… I guess you could say I'm a visualist. Is that even a word?


	6. Come and Get Me

**Disclaimer:** I own Dark Angel…only in my dreams.

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A/N:** It took me a little while to get this chapter going. It was hard at first, but once I finally hit my groove, it started to flow no problem… I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to R&R! I still ask for at least three reviews before I try to get the next one up. 

**A/N2:** Don't forget, I head off to school soon, so updates may not happen as often as you or I would like. But, rest assured, they will come when I can get them out…

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Chapter 6: Come and Get Me 

Max followed the TAC wordlessly as he led her down the vacant hallway. She had some idea of what she was about to encounter, but she thought that all of the testing had been finished before she was reassigned. They had drawn her blood, done spinal taps, recorded MRI scans, EEG readings, EKG readings; most tests known to man had been performed on her after her surgery. But whatever this was, she had no idea what they were looking for, what they could find, or where it would lead. Needless to say, Max was a tiny bit scared of the possibilities.

After all of the tests had been done, Max had a lambent thought that they would find something wrong with her and send her down to be with the Nomalies. Ben had told the whole unit stories about the genetic mistakes, the ones with crossed wiring, even those who just screwed up somehow. No explanations, just that it would be bad if anyone got trapped in the basement with them. _They will drink your blood and take you to the Nomalies._ Max swallowed at the memory. That had been just before Jack was taken away. Just before they decided to….

Max walked through the door to the infirmary, scared and apprehensive. The only thing that gave her comfort was the nurse waiting within the doors.

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Hannah had been working in the infirmary most of the night. As it was, she was about to get off her shift. But then the TAC officer came in, 452 trailing behind him. "May I ask what is going on?" The woman's blonde hair swung just above her shoulders as she questioned the arrival. 

"Medical study to be done on X5-452." The TAC officer didn't even look at Hannah when he spoke.

In confusion, she looked to the small girl on his left. "452?"

"Don't ask me…" Max didn't have any explanation for Hannah, even though she wished she had one to give. "They took Al--494" she couldn't exactly say she knew they took him to Psy-Ops "somewhere. Then, four hours later, they brought me down here. Hell if I know what's going on."

The TAC officer looked at her sideways. Despite the fact that the X5 series had been through Common Verbal Usage already, he was unaccustomed to hearing them use it in substitution for their military professionalism. Max only rolled her eyes at the officer, not caring what he thought in the slightest.

Renfro stepped in the infirmary, smiling, which further unnerved Max. _Great, the devil's mistress has arrived,_ Max thought

Renfro, uncharacteristically cheerful, spoke to everyone in the room, "Well, isn't this nice. Even the head nurse came to greet us."

_This is just sickening._ Max felt like throwing up. Why was evil incarnate smiling? Because she had ordered the "follow-up tests" to be performed. This was not going to be good.

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"State your designation." 

"X5-494, sir!" Alec had no reason to question what he was to Manticore. He wondered why they thought he did. For four hours, they had questioned him about who he was, what he was, what he intended. No progress, no change. What did they expect from him in four hours? A dance? If they asked, he might cock an eyebrow in confusion but he would follow orders, hoping it would fulfill some requirement.

"What is Manticore, 494?"

"Home, sir!" Alec never questioned that. It was the only one he'd ever known. He had a roof over his head, and plenty of food to eat… Why bite the hand that fed, or so the saying went?

"Are you aware you have a twin, of designation 493?"

"Yes, sir!" Alec was momentarily thrown off balance. A "twin," one created by Manticore. No doubt, he was created so that the science lab front that the base used as cover would be able to produce some kind of report on the connection between twins. Of course, the truth that both boys had been created as government black-ops super-soldiers to be trained for all types of tactical, guerrilla, and/or combat situations.

"Tell us what you know of him."

"Nothing sir. He was my twin in another unit. One who, I am told, attempted an escape with his unit." He refused to mention Max. He wasn't going to drag her into this. After what she went through with them leaving to begin with, he didn't want to have her face Psy-Ops. It didn't matter that there was no warning label, he swore that red-lasers in the eye caused some kind of brain damage. Be it rearranging neural pathways or overwriting memories he didn't know, he just knew it wasn't a good thing.

They strapped him to the table again, positioning said laser over his right cornea. This would be the second time today that they had used the laser on 494. The doctors didn't think it was completely necessary. The boy had never had any contact with his twin, or the rogue unit. But because the boys were twins, they wanted to prove every hypothesis before reintroducing him to training.

Once more should be enough.

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Colonel Lydecker had been back on base for less than a day when he got word of what Renfro planned for 452. He had just returned from what had started as a promising lead to X5-493's whereabouts. But as that fell through the cracks, Lydecker decided to return to base in order to regroup. 

"Colonel Lydecker, Sir!" The sergeant burst through his office door. "Two TAC officers just removed X5-452 from her new unit. They took her to the infirmary…for more testing." The man was nervous. He just interrupted the colonel, uninvited and unannounced. But Colonel Lydecker had said to immediately inform him if anything irregular happened in regards to 452.

"Who ordered the tests, sergeant?" Lydecker leaned back in his black leather swivel office chair, propping his left foot over his extended right ankle. There was no cause for concern until a certain name was mentioned.

"Director Renfro, sir."

"What?" Lydecker was on his feet and out the door in an instant. There was no way he would leave 452 in the hands of that psychotic witch. He tore down the hall, leaving a shocked soldier to follow, if he chose to do so, in his wake. The girl who had his precious wife's eyes, the one he considered a daughter of his own flesh and blood, would not be subjected to whatever wiles that insidious woman had planned.

Lydecker came to the door of the infirmary to see a frightened 452 strapped to a table where a doctor stood looming over her with a needle in hand. The poor head nurse looked about ready to cry for the small girl. She had a heart for the kids. Though she was only employed to see to their medical needs, Hannah felt responsible for them. Lydecker knew about the curious EEG readings 452 had during her operation, the dual brainwave, but he had doubted that the doctors would pursue the anomaly this far. No doubt Renfro had caught wind of the oddity and sought answers. Well, those answers were not for her to have.

"That's enough, Renfro." Lydecker looked hard at the blonde woman in front of him. She personified evil at times. More often than not it was her overbearing nature which terrified the kids into obedient submission, but anyone of a higher position than she knew it was the only thing she had going for her. She was often left out of the loop in regards to Sandeman's absolute intent.

"452 is no longer under your jurisdiction, Lydecker." Renfro wasn't even surprised to see the colonel burst through the infirmary doors. If Max didn't know better, she would have sworn the woman had telepathic capabilities. She was evil enough for it, but just stupid enough that they were denied to her.

"No." Lydecker knew the truth of it. He had personally signed the transfer papers turning 452 over to the so-called care of this cynical tyrant. "But she is still under the supervision of the facility founder… I believe you've met Dr. Sandeman."

Renfro visibly cringed at the mention of the name. Her white blonde hair was so effectively gelled into place that it didn't even move as she nodded her head.

Max had no idea who this "Sandman" was. But if he was responsible for stopping these invasive tests then he was her new best friend, next to Alec of course.

"He requests 452 be brought to his office immediately. She is to begin her special training in the morning and he wishes to inform her of this before she is yet again separated from her unit." Lydecker couldn't keep the coldness out of his voice. He hated this woman. She thought she held power over these kids, but she had nothing. They feared her, yes. But they had no respect for her. Once they grew up, they would lose their fear of her and she would have nothing over them.

"Very well." Renfro gestured to the techs and doctors around Max, "unbind her."

As Max sat up rubbing her wrists, Lydecker questioned Renfro. "Whatever possessed you to order such tests in the first place?" Max jumped down from the table and stood edging close to the man she had grown to fear, then respect and look up to.

"No doubt you've heard of the intriguing anomaly recorded in 452's EEG reading during her operation." Lydecker nodded. "Well, I was so interested in the cause of this that I ordered a full blood work analysis be done."

"That is unnecessary." Lydecker immediately and convincingly lied, holding his hand out for Max to take. She reached out and grasped his fingers reluctantly. "The anomaly was nothing more than a computer glitch. I'm sorry it got you so excited for nothing." He turned, leading Max away from the infirmary.

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Max had never been in this area of the facility before. She looked around her in awe. There were actually paintings on the walls. Not the military propaganda signs of "DUTY," "MISSION," and "DISCIPLINE," but actual paintings of landscapes, and famous people in historic settings, and animals. Was this the Good Place that Ben had spoken about? 

As they walked down the hall, passing polished furniture and elegant light fixtures, Lydecker explained to her that the EEG finding was not a glitch as he had said. It had actually happened. She had two brainwaves. But it was going to be hard to explain why that was. He asked her to be patient, telling her that she would hear things that didn't seem to make any sense. But one day she would understand what it meant.

They stopped outside a deeply varnished door. The nameplate on its surface simply read "Dr. David Sandeman." Lydecker briskly knocked on the door. Waiting only for the appropriate welcome, he opened the wooden door to reaveal a large, comfortable office. The room was sparse in furniture, but still felt open and accepting to Max. She felt like she had been here before, though she didn't remember it.

A tall man stood across the room near a large window, moonlight dappling his dark suit in a patchwork of blues and grays. Upon seeing the small girl enter the room, Sandeman abandoned his place by the window and made his way toward her. He used a cane, though he didn't seem to need it. The head of the cane intrigued Max. It was shaped with the Manticore symbol, yet part of her knew that the cane had come first and the facility it represented came later.

Max knew the man that approached her. She remembered seeing him in the shadows all her life. He always watched her, but she never got the chance to see his face until now. His gray hair was nicely cut, and a smile covered his wide, kind face. As his smile reached his eyes they lit like tiny blue flames of hope.

As Sandeman approached her, he held his arms out, reaching down for a hug. He lifted her into his arms and said, "there she is. My little one. My special little one."

END chapter 6

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**A/N: **I just wanted to let you all know that I had quite a time writing this. One rewrite and a few reworkings before I was actually in any kind of writing groove. Thanks for being patient with me.

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**Review Responses:**

**Angel of Darkness231:** Good point about Miggs. Hmmm… I may have to change her name then, or I could just let you guys deal with the difficulty. You're smart, right? Just keep in mind that Miggs is female, so if the chappie says "she" most likely I'm referring to Miggs, and not her test-tube brother Biggs. :-P

**GuestTypePerson: **Well, thanks. I told you I would get to the torture thing…that's more in this chapter than it was in chapter 5… Well, I didn't have to work this week, being the week before I have to go back to school, so I had some time to write…in between bouts of packing… What did you think of ch. 6? It took me a while to get into the jive of writing it, so I hope you enjoyed it!

**suenooneus:** Thanks, "babe" :) Hope you liked…

**Alana84:** I'm glad you like it…it will get veeeeery interesting as it progresses. I hope you will continue to like it!


	7. The Ways of an X

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Dark Angel, sad isn't it…I weep at the incredible injustice of it. Come weep with me, my fellow DA writers…

**A/N:**I know it's been longer than usual…sorry? But, it's not all my fault! I had school, which was…yeah, school… And now that I'm out of school for summer break, its work, work, work. Sleep and eating are occasional afterthoughts. So writing comes in between sleep and work, and work and sleep…you know, whenever I get a spare moment and inspiration in the time frame. That in addition to the other three fics I have in the works…I haven't forgotten about BWIMTB, but the others seem to be going so much quicker…maybe I just got bored with this…I'll start up again and hopefully the brain-freeze thawed ;) ooh, speaking of…I really have a craving for cookie-dough ice cream, not that it gives me brain-freeze, but I really want some…any body have any to share? Hehehe.

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Being Who I'm Meant to Be **

Chapter Seven: The Ways of an X 

Alec had been deposited in a holding cell for the night. Blood ran from the corner of his mouth as he lay on his side. He licked his teeth and spat a wad of saliva to the floor. It had been a laser, a simple red laser, but he felt like he had been beaten repeatedly with a steel two-by-four. He tried to sit up and groaningly, painfully was able to manage. He shifted his weight and swung his feet to the floor. He contemplated standing, then shook his head. Why stand if there was no reason to…frankly, why stand if he could barely sit up? Instead, he cautiously leaned back against the wall, resting his sore muscles on the cold stone.

The questioning had been entirely about 493, his twin. The range of questions stretched from his association with and knowledge of the escapees to his beliefs about their intent. Alec tried not to think about his time under the laser, but he couldn't help thinking back. Something seemed too severe about what they were doing. It didn't make any sense to him, but he couldn't question it or they would keep him in psy-ops even longer. He couldn't do that to his unit, despite his curiosity.

He just hoped they would leave Max alone. She didn't need this, on top of her operation and loss of family, she had been through enough.

Max sat in an overstuffed leather chair facing the man who had picked her up. Lydecker had just told her that Dr. Sandeman had been the one who designed Max's specific DNA pattern. That was understandable enough—he was a scientist after all. But the whole situation seemed perversely bizarre to her. Was this some kind of special treatment? Was she some kind of pet project that her creators were now doting on? She felt slightly sickened to think of being a pet, created and trained like a dog to do whatever was commanded of her. Sit, stay, speak—_woof, woof._

She shook her head at the insanity of it all. She knew she wasn't human. What else were they going to tell her? That she could fly and blow fire from her nose? As fun as that image appeared in her imagination, she doubted it. It was impractical.

Before they started talking again, she had to know something. "Colonel Lydecker, sir?"

Lydecker turned to face the child–soldier. "452?"

"Sir, what about 494? Where was he taken?" Despite the changing events in Max's life, Alec was never far from her thoughts. If the rest of the unit was stumped as far as how to find him, Max would use any resource she had at her disposal to find him, and save him if needs be.

"494, taken?" At first Lydecker wasn't sure what Max was speaking of. "Oh, yes. It's a precaution, 452. He was taken to the psych ward for evaluation. Have no fear for your new unit."

"Does it have to do with my unit sir? The ones that escaped?"

Sandeman abruptly turned at this piece of information. Had he not know about the escape? The two men exchanged a look.

"Max," Lydecker tested using her name, "you probably know that an escape from Manticore is highly irregular. We're trying to find a cause for the escape by questioning the twins of those that escaped…like 494. He's the twin of X5-493—I believe you called him Ben."

"Yes. But if you want to know a cause for why they ran, why don't you just ask me?" Max was frustrated, but she maintained her cool composure. "Manticore kept the twins separate, you should know that. How would they possibly know the motive behind my unit's break from the facility?"

Both of them looked at her in wonder. Lydecker finally spoke. "Then 452, if you know, please tell us."

"They left because of me." Max let that sink in for a bit. "About a month after Jack went away, I started getting shakes. My unit left because they didn't want the same thing that happened to Jack to happen to me. They were afraid that each of us would eventually experience seizures like Jack did. Zack didn't want the rest of us to be cut up the way that Jack was. So they ran."

"Jack, Zack?" Lydecker inquired.

"Jack, the youngest from my unit, 904. And Zack, our unit leader, 599." Max supplied

"Jack, as you call him, died from grand-mal seizure. He was the third to have done so." Sandeman gave the explanation, choosing his words with care. These children had formed a family, and Max would certainly be touched deeply no matter how gently they described the procedures. "What you saw as his body being cut open was an autopsy to discover his cause of death. Once that had been determined, we did further…study, to see if there was a way to stop this from happening. Your present condition is proof that we were able to do so."

Max didn't know what to make of the man she had met, or what she had been told by either Sandeman or Lydecker. She wanted to believe them, but it just seemed so…simple. Manticore operations usually came off as complex constructs with various layers of import. This was clean cut and not obviously requiring further details for explanation. Max sat and blinked slowly, absorbing their words.

Sandeman stood for a moment, observing Max take in their explanation, before turning to Lydecker. "Colonel, have 494 released from the psych-ward and brought to join us here." Lydecker nodded and left the room.

As the door closed, Max could have sworn she heard a dog whimpering. Did Sandeman have a dog holed up in his office? She could help but laugh a little at the image. First she was the pet. Now, come to find out, he had a dog in his office the whole time.

Sandeman noticed her repressed laughter. "Max, what is it?"

"I heard a sound. It…uh…it sounded like a dog. That's why I was laughing."

"Oh. You heard Joshua." Sandeman walked around his desk and knelt on the floor. "Joshua, would you like to meet Max?" Max smiled. He was talking to his dog like he was talking to a human.

Max gasped when she heard a voice respond to Sandeman's question. "Joshua meet Max."

A boy stood up in the corner where she heard the whimper. Max's eyes widened. The boy was tall, but had the soft features of a twelve year old. Max backtracked her thoughts, was it a boy? It was certainly male, but Max couldn't help but wonder if he was human. Max suppressed a shrug. _He's probably a trans-human, dog-human. _In place of a nose, the boy-dog had a snout, including a dog-like upper lip.

"Max." Sandeman led 'Joshua' around the desk to stand in front of her. "This is Joshua. Joshua, this is Max."

"Hey," Max said by way of a greeting. "Cool teeth. Can I see them?"

Joshua barked and inched away from her outstretched hand. Max pulled away as well, fear touching at her heart only at the mere thought of loosing her hand. But Sandeman reassured them both, "It's alright."

Max reached out again, and Joshua willingly moved his lips giving her a better glimpse of the fangs behind. "Sweet."

A knock on Sandeman's office door sent Joshua back behind the desk. "Enter," Sandeman called.

The door swung open to reveal a worn looking Alec leaning on Lydecker for support. "As requested, 494."

"Sir." Alec attempted to salute, but his arm only hung limply by his side. He had never seen this man before, but he appeared to be Lydecker's superior. That was kind of odd. Why would Lydecker's commander want to see him? Max was there as well, she looked totally comfortable with the man. Alec frowned in confusion, and nearly fell to the floor.

"What the hell did they do to him?" Max rushed to her friend's side, taking him from Lydecker. She glared at her superior. "Evaluation, huh? You liar. You sent him to psy-ops, didn't you?"

"452." Lydecker's tone was warning.

Max stopped her tirade, instead she hovered over Alec after she helped him ease to the floor. She opted to stand behind him, her arms crossed. He leaned back against her legs, thankful for the support they provided.

"It was evaluation, 452." Lydecker explained. "When I said psych-ward, I meant psy-ops. There is no other psych division in Manticore, except for some of the X4s' specialties, like tele-coercion."

Max gestured to Alec who sat limply at her feet. "This is not the result of evaluation. This is the result of interrogation. Either your order was misinterpreted by the _psych ward,_ or you lied to me."

"Max, ease up." Alec mumbled. "You should have seen how mad he was when he saw me in the isolation cell. Raged at a couple guards. Not to mention reaming out one of the doctors. I think they over-extrapolated his order."

Max took a breath. If it came from Alec then it was credible. "Alright."

"I think we've had enough midnight discussion. You kids should get back to your dorm and get what rest you can before morning." Sandeman looked apologetically at them for all the hassle. "Max, do you think you can get 494 back to the dorms on your own?"

"Yes, Dr. Sandeman. Thank you." She bent to help Alec to his feet once again, looping one of his arms over her shoulder. It would be a lot easier having someone of similar height helping him than someone taller, as had been the case with Lydecker.

Lydecker held the door open for them as they left. He had intended to follow them out of the room, heading for his own office, but Sandeman called him back in. "Make sure the other twins are released as well. We will discuss Max's case before any more testing, if there is to be anymore testing."

"Yes, sir."

When they finally got back to their dorm, Alec dropped to his bed, exhausted. Max sat down beside him, comfortable to just be near him. The others were still asleep, luckily. Even Jet snored slightly, her few needed hours of sleep a week must have accumulated. It seemed they had opted to wait until morning to decide if action needed to be taken. They were in for a surprise when the bugle corps gave revile, waking them for calisthenics, breakfast, and morning drills.

The day caught up with him and his eyes began to droop. "Max, I can't sit up straight anymore," Alec said, sagging to his side on the bunk.

Max placed his head on her lap. "You don't have to. Get some sleep, Alec." Max raked her fingers gently though his short hair as he drifted to sleep. She would keep watch. Shark DNA. She never thanked Sandeman so much for designing her DNA as she did while she watched over her new family as they slept.

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**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed it! Took me a couple of rewrites to get it to come out this way. Please review and tell me what you think. Next chapter? …Um…no promises of when, but it will come. 


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